My aching feet

One of the minor annoyances of my chemo regimen is sensitive feet that swell and burn if I do too much walking or standing. It has the lovely name of HFS - Hand Foot Syndrome and to a lesser extent involves the same symptoms for your hands. (So, yes, i've given up hand stands, back springs, cartwheels and walking around on my hands)


I've tried quite a few creams and remedies. In fact it's an impressive list.(by last count 19 different creams) The funny thing is I always feel my latest solution will be THE ONE. (kind of like looking for love) I start cautiously with it, then begin to believe it's really going to work, tell a friend that "This may be it," maybe even post the news on a message board: "I'm in love with my Desert Essence Tea Tree Oil!"  I'm ecstatically happy for a week or so. Then, as in a relationship, little things start to creep up. I wake up one night after an active day with red hot feet, despite my new foot regimen. My fingertips seem numb again. Is the rose off the bloom? the ardor cooling?


I continue for a few more weeks, then read a post where someone swears by Heel-tastic (not available in stores) or Vitamin E pills (easy to swallow) or Henna paste (turns your feet orange) and I consider a dalliance. Before I know it, I'm cheating and my half finished jar of Udder Cream or Bag Balm sits disconsolately on the dresser. "You may have helped dairy cows from becoming chapped in the harsh Vermont environment," I say,"but you're just not working for me. I'm restless. I need to mooove on." Often I do return and cycle through the same relationships. "Hello Miracle Heel Fix. Good to see you again, Oatmeal Fortified Collagen Cream."


I alternate between the solid, corporate all-American types like Eczema Therapy, Calming Itch Relief Treatment or Pain Relieving Foot Cream (the kind of guys your Mom would love) versus the racy, James Dean-Marlon Brando wild ones that appeal to your rebellious spirit. Yes, I'm talking about you Hemp Protector (do I smoke it or slather it on?), African Honey and Beeswax Butter (good enough to eat), Aloe Sensual Body Butter (dangerous!) and Cooling Peppermint Organic Rescue Treatment (hippies to the rescue). 


The latest idea for HFS that I read on Pub Med (NIH website that lists research papers) described a clinical trial that uses nicotine patches. So don't be surprised this summer if you see me patched up and sporting a smokeless, artificial cigarette. 

Lauren Bacall: so sexy, but did we ever see her feet?